Discouragement

Today was...such a weird day.

Instead of going to school I went to "Teacher Recruitment Day" at my University.

It was VERY discouraging to say the least. I got there with a couple of girls I know right when it started and they had a floor plan of what schools were at what tables. I circled which I wanted to go to...yata yata. I went to like 2 very short ones (shoke their hand, gave them my resume) and then had a longer sit down thing with a district and then ended up waiting in line at one district from 10:15-1:50. Yes. I was there for 3 and a half HOURS! UGHH!! Most annoying/frustrating thing ever! The line was long,yes, but what I didn't realize was that there were only two employee people at the table and they were taking 15 minutes with each person. By the time I realized, I had already been standing there for an hour, so I felt like I had to stay. THEN when two hours had passed I really wanted to leave the line but I was getting closer.

It was THE most frustrating experience ever.

There were SO many flippin people there and we all look the SAME. How on earth will I stand a chance in a sea of all these people? Not just today, but throughout the hiring process. It really hit me just how many people I will really be up against.

Then to make everything just completely worse, I was like of course dwelling all day on how things just keep spiraling downward with the economy and the education scence...blah blah. I had Bible study tonight, and when I got there, people were asking me about it, and I just felt like crap. I just feel like crap right now. Towards the end of Bible study we were talking about it again a little and I was saying minimal words so that I wouldn't start crying. Anyway- they are ALL teachers well like 9 out of 10 are...and they were saying things like "...well MY district isn't hiring anyone new.." and "...yeah I feel bad for you guys that are graduating now, it'll be bad for a while" "..people aren't hiring blahh blahh, "there are so many cuts..blah blah"

I just want to be like UGHH I KNOW THAT!!! Shut up. haaaha LIke really??? HOW is that helpful to me at all?! I KNOW it's bad right now, I'm already discouraged..so thanks but I don't need your negative words. GOSH.

I completely just lost it on the ride home and started sobbing.

What a terrible day.
=/