I did it.

I finally got to donate my hair!

It really was kind of nerve racking when I knew she was chopping off my ponytail! But it's not to short and I'm happy with it. :) It's the first time in like five or more years that I haven't had any layers or angles.

Here is where I'm donating it. Check 'em out! Pantene Beautiful Lengths

New Place!

I finally have internet at my apartment!! (Got it on Friday, woohoo) but for someone reason I still can't connect to the wifi with my phone...bummer, no words with friends for me very often.

ANYWAY, I'm also finally giving you a virtual lil' tour of my new place. :)

See those balls? Yep, made them. Pinterest. <3

Gerber Daisies. :)

Can you spot the pinterest ideas? haha the "it is well..." sign is actually GREEN letters now instead of blue bc I thought it would match better. (and it does. ) That brown blanket is also the softest thing on the planet. :)

My new picture. I'm in love with this!

Pinterest baby. (cardboard + yarn + hot glue =cuteness)

Lil' bathroom.

Matthew 6 pillow made by my best friend! Thanks Christin, it's a great addition to my bed. :)

Of course there is a kitchen too, but right now it's nothing special. Same with the foyer. Once I make them cute I might put pictures of those too. :)

Hope you enjoyed the mini tour!

Letter

Guys, I feel frustrated.

Did you ever hear about the way to tell someone something, without feeling like you're "putting it on them". You are supposed to use "I feel______when you_____" Well, I feel like writing a blog post in that from. anddd begin.


Internet..I feel FRUSTRATED and beyond IRRITATED when you don't work even though I have spent the past 3 HOURS of my LIFE trying to get you to work.

Tech support people on the phone...I feel ANNOYED when you put me on hold in the middle of our convo..(??)

Fellow employees...I feel self-conscious when you come into the lab throughout the day and it seems like I'm doing absolutely nothing. All. day. (not true!)

Brain...I strongly dislike the way you blow up emotions. and make me feel anxious and nervous. WHYY do you do it?? I could kind of do without that..K? thanks.

Internet hooker-upper, I feel confused when you only show up times that I am not home, how will I ever get my internet up and running? (also-I just paid a CRAP load of money on a special "modem-router" so I'd appreciate it if it worked.Thanks)

Strangers I interact with...I don't like it when you call me "hun", it makes me feel like I'm five, or stupid..so you can drop that. K great.

and God, I feel so sorry when I want to steer clear of all this change that You are allowing. With all my might I want it to stop, but it just keeps on coming. I feel that I need to "roll with it" and let things go. I'm sorry I haven't been giving you control and that I've been trying to STOP things from changing. I'm powerless to do that and it's a hard place to be. I need to rely on You and You alone.

Things and circumstance change, You don't and never will.

I am so blessed and all of the things I am frustrated with are so fleeting. Help me to see that my life is for You and You alone. Instead of looking to the next and the next thing, help me to focus on YOU.

Love, Kari


ps. The only reason I have internet to write this is because I'm piggy backing on someone else, sad but true.

Why are people so nasty?

So yesterday I found myself in a not-so-fun situation.

Our area was to be hit by a few (3-5) inches of snow as well as sleet and freezing rain.

Remember that babysitting job I mentioned on here? Well, I was due to babysit THIS Saturday. I had planned all week to babysit today thinking the weathermen were wrong and it wouldn't be too bad.
But yesterday the forecast seemed pretty terrible. and one of the things I try to avoid at ALL costs is driving in the snow. it honestly gives me panic attacks, but we won't talk about it.
So I so kindly texted the mother to say if the roads were snow covered I wouldn't be able to make it. (It's at least a 25 minute drive) She responded to let them know at LEAST two hours before. As I kept looking at the forecast I got more and more freaked out and decided I should cancel for sure so that they could find someone else.

About an hour later the FATHER texts me about 4 texts in a row, telling me I'm fired. He told me they would be crazy to have someone as irresponsible as me watching their son, and that no one should ever leave me to care for their child. And much more nastiness.

Seriously buddy?!?

I was sorry to inconvenience them but man OH man, he took it a little far. He also said he would leave me bad reviews and basically "stalk" my profile so that I couldn't get other jobs. (I use a website to get jobs)

It was ridiculous not to mention totally upsetting.

It's hard to not feel like it's a reflection on ME.

It's a big, HUGE reminder that our world is broken and fallen and that people are just so...RUDE sometimes.

It makes me feel SUPER aware of how I'm treating other people, because I would never want to hurt someone like that.

Gosh.

Hello World!

Hellooo blogger land! :)

I have officially made it to the "other side" of moving..!

Things went mostly pretty smoothly. I had a lot of great family and friends to help, and it went really well.

I am now currently in the Giant super market using their wireless which they have so graciously deemed "free". Thank you Giant.
(only until I get internet at my new place which could take who knows how long.)

Today, I'm planning to relax...whoops I mean, unpack and settle some more.

I'll put some pictures up asap when things look a little nicer and more put together. :)

SO thankful we had a nice day as far as NO rain or snow. THANK YOU GOD!
It was verry cold, but we won't talk about that.

Just wanted to "check in" and let yall know I "made" it to the other side. heh

Here's to unpacking and settling in to my new place. :D
Prayers for comfort always still appreciated.

:)

more mooooving

I now have a mattress and a couch! :) woohoo!

I ended up getting a queen mattress and got a nice deal with a frame too. (just the plain metal kind) It was pretty inexpensive for the quality of the mattress. :D

After work today I went to a furniture store and ended up buying a recliner sofa that was on 60% off clearance because it was a show room model. Great deal on it! and it's super comfy :)
I only hope and pray it will fit on my dad's truck.

Things are starting to come together and I'm getting more and more excited..!!

Also praying for no rain, because that will mess with the plans. Right now it looks like it should be okay.


I haven't had a work update in a while, but it's going sooo well. I love it there.
The longer I'm there, the more I love it. I'm really getting to know the people, and I feel like I help out a lot. (I'm needed, I really am needed.! ;) As well as the staff, of course I've been getting to know the kids better every day.
The staff are even encouraging me in ways that I might be able to get a teaching job which make me feel good inside because they care.

And now I will leave you with a quote from a first grade girl from today:

her"did you know there is such thing as witches?"
me.."there is..??"
her"yeah, one popped out of my toilet last night. I saw it after my brother went to the bathroom"

Oh goshh....

um..moving?

So...about that.

I'm moving in FOUR days.

Holy poop.

I have a feeling that things may take awhile to get situated in my new place.

For example..I still don't have a couch, or a mattress.
I don't have a coffee table.. or a place to put the tv, that I also don't have.

hmm...
I need to figure those things out. Stat.

I did get some kitchen chairs today though. They are used, but I think they're cute!
They are currently occupying the spot next to my bed. awkward.

At least I have a shower curtain right?

Things might be a little patchy at first.

More updates on the move to come!

Um..it'll be okay..

I haven't a post like this in a while.

but.. I feel really..weary? sad? scared? anxious?
all of the above?

:(

I HATE CHANGE, guys. =/

This sucks.

Why am I so bad at these life changes?

They're not bad..but they ARE different and it feels like too much change at once. It's making me feel anxious and scared...
I don't know why! (but I hate it!!ughh)

I am about to move.
I am about to live by myself.
I still don't really feel a close connection with new friends.
Still especially upsetting because certain friends I used to have don't really talk to me anymore. (wayyy frustrating, and sad)

I miss my church family from college. :(
I felt SUCH an amazing connection there and right now I don't feel that connection anywhere.
I feel like I have no real accountability.
I want more consistency in my life but right now..in this phase of life, unfortunately for me and my brain, things ARE going to keep changing. For the next couple of years most likely, there will continue to be big life changes.

I feel like it's to much to get through.

(I know, I'm sure I sound ridiculous)
Like, come on Kari, you're just moving,what's your deal??

But I seriously think I have some sort of imbalance in my brain that makes a change seem like a HUGE difference and a reason to feel scared. Even though really it's not true..and it WILL be okay.

Right? right??


..ahhh venting.