Hi Friends!!
I can't imagine anyone will find this since I haven't blogged in ages, but I had to share this!
Lara Casey is talking about some awesome goal setting tips over on her blog and giving away an AWESOME tools pack for 2016!! I'm entering to win and you should too!!
Head over there NOW!
Happy New Year!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Sunday, October 13, 2013
WOW-it's October
Okay, so it's been wayyyyyy long since I posted anything.
The whole summer has come and gone.
NC just wasn't for me and I have moved back to PA.
I was at a retreat yesterday morning and I was thinking about it, and I'm just so not sorry that I did it. It wasn't a mistake in my mind. I'm GLAD it happened that way, actually. I grew so much, even in those few short months. I am so much more confident as an educator and as an individual. I'm so much MORE grateful now, than I was before. I'm thankful for the provisions of subbing as I look for something more permanent. I'm also working retail once again, and I'm quite grateful for the relief of constant co-workers at that job. My photography has also reallllyy picked up this fall, which is awesome. (Especially bc I haven't even been advertising.)
I'm just..... so! super! busy!
Always.
I feel like right now, I work, work, work....allll the time, between those 3 jobs.
Don't get me wrong, I AM soooooo thankful. But it is exhausting.
I feel kind of sad today because my hamster, Harper, is sick....pretty sure she's gonna die soon. It sucks. Most people probably think...it's just a hamster but, she's my baby! I don't want her to feel hurt or pain. She's been through all my moving with me and it just makes me feel icky that she isn't right.
Today I was reading some Max Lacado. I was reassured that We are HIS. He isn't surprised by anything in our lives because he WROTE our stories. He has a different perspective. He isn't concerned at the things we are concerned of.
That's huge.
The whole summer has come and gone.
NC just wasn't for me and I have moved back to PA.
I was at a retreat yesterday morning and I was thinking about it, and I'm just so not sorry that I did it. It wasn't a mistake in my mind. I'm GLAD it happened that way, actually. I grew so much, even in those few short months. I am so much more confident as an educator and as an individual. I'm so much MORE grateful now, than I was before. I'm thankful for the provisions of subbing as I look for something more permanent. I'm also working retail once again, and I'm quite grateful for the relief of constant co-workers at that job. My photography has also reallllyy picked up this fall, which is awesome. (Especially bc I haven't even been advertising.)
I'm just..... so! super! busy!
Always.
I feel like right now, I work, work, work....allll the time, between those 3 jobs.
Don't get me wrong, I AM soooooo thankful. But it is exhausting.
I feel kind of sad today because my hamster, Harper, is sick....pretty sure she's gonna die soon. It sucks. Most people probably think...it's just a hamster but, she's my baby! I don't want her to feel hurt or pain. She's been through all my moving with me and it just makes me feel icky that she isn't right.
Today I was reading some Max Lacado. I was reassured that We are HIS. He isn't surprised by anything in our lives because he WROTE our stories. He has a different perspective. He isn't concerned at the things we are concerned of.
That's huge.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Encounter
I've been wanting to write this post since LAST Sunday, and just never got to it.
The church that I've been going to had a worship night (which I guess they have once a month) last Sunday. Basically they sing in worship for about an hour.
It was SO wonderful, and powerful!
I loved every minute.
There is something so special about so many believers in one place together, worshiping God with all their hearts.
I had this image in my head of God and His HUGE cross. I was thinking about how BIG God is. Looking around at all of the people in the sanctuary with me. People filled with their own problems, their own lives.... and then about my problems. How they seem SO big to me because for right now, it consumes e v e r y part of my life. It's school. It's hard. It's tough. Makes me smile. and want to cry. I love my kids. and I can't stand them. and I'm C O N S U M E D with this, on a daily basis.
But here is God and his MIGHTY CROSS. I had the image of little, tiny, me. And my little tiny life.
In the perspective of everything else, it didn't seem so big. I kept thinking about my smallness and presenting my "stuff" to God. Laying it at his cross and just looking up at His cross in awe.
Are you getting it? Can you picture it? What a powerful image. It's saying "Here it is God" "You take it" "I surrender" "You are SO much bigger and greater than I or my problems will EVER be."
Even though it seems SO HUGE and massive in my life. Like this mountain I can't see around..... I can give it to God and worship Him in awe of who He is.
It is a wonderfully humbling revelation.
Listen to this song. SO good.
The church that I've been going to had a worship night (which I guess they have once a month) last Sunday. Basically they sing in worship for about an hour.
It was SO wonderful, and powerful!
I loved every minute.
There is something so special about so many believers in one place together, worshiping God with all their hearts.
I had this image in my head of God and His HUGE cross. I was thinking about how BIG God is. Looking around at all of the people in the sanctuary with me. People filled with their own problems, their own lives.... and then about my problems. How they seem SO big to me because for right now, it consumes e v e r y part of my life. It's school. It's hard. It's tough. Makes me smile. and want to cry. I love my kids. and I can't stand them. and I'm C O N S U M E D with this, on a daily basis.
But here is God and his MIGHTY CROSS. I had the image of little, tiny, me. And my little tiny life.
In the perspective of everything else, it didn't seem so big. I kept thinking about my smallness and presenting my "stuff" to God. Laying it at his cross and just looking up at His cross in awe.
Are you getting it? Can you picture it? What a powerful image. It's saying "Here it is God" "You take it" "I surrender" "You are SO much bigger and greater than I or my problems will EVER be."
Even though it seems SO HUGE and massive in my life. Like this mountain I can't see around..... I can give it to God and worship Him in awe of who He is.
It is a wonderfully humbling revelation.
Listen to this song. SO good.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Nashville and PJ weather
The weekends are SO so nice. I absolutely love to sleep in (even though these days I can't seem to sleep past 8:30), lay around in my pjs and get things done. I'm so grateful for two days built into the week that we always have off.
This weekend I watched a TON of the show Nashville. I had a one week free trial of hulu-plus so I got caught up. Waste of time? Umm. YES, but entertaining? I think so. I like it a lot. So I can add that to my list of shows.
I was just playing some guitar and it felt sooo good. I haven't played in while and honestly it's such a relief to do something well without much effort. It comes so easily and is so non-stressful. Love it.
I'm thinking about bringing it in to school one of these days to play for my cherubs.
I had my ukulele one day for a lesson and they were basically memorized when I played a few chords...ha. I honestly don't think music like that is something they've had much exposure to.
This weekend has been cold and cloudy... (good pj layin' weather). It's strange (and I'm jealous) because back home in PA it's been like sunny and 70! Weird.
FIVE WEEKS TILL SUMMERRRRRRRRRR. I can't wait. I miss my friends and my family so much.
I'm amazed that I've come this far, but God helps me through every day.
Things have gotten easier bit by bit. I'm constantly learning new ways to manage my classroom. It's still tough, and the kids still come with all of their behavior problems every day...but I can honestly say that I love those kids. I'm not sure how THAT works, but as I've been able to build up more of a relationship with each of them, I definitely feel more ...protective(?) of them.
I should work on my plans, but allllll I want to do is sleep.
This weekend I watched a TON of the show Nashville. I had a one week free trial of hulu-plus so I got caught up. Waste of time? Umm. YES, but entertaining? I think so. I like it a lot. So I can add that to my list of shows.
I was just playing some guitar and it felt sooo good. I haven't played in while and honestly it's such a relief to do something well without much effort. It comes so easily and is so non-stressful. Love it.
I'm thinking about bringing it in to school one of these days to play for my cherubs.
I had my ukulele one day for a lesson and they were basically memorized when I played a few chords...ha. I honestly don't think music like that is something they've had much exposure to.
This weekend has been cold and cloudy... (good pj layin' weather). It's strange (and I'm jealous) because back home in PA it's been like sunny and 70! Weird.
FIVE WEEKS TILL SUMMERRRRRRRRRR. I can't wait. I miss my friends and my family so much.
I'm amazed that I've come this far, but God helps me through every day.
Things have gotten easier bit by bit. I'm constantly learning new ways to manage my classroom. It's still tough, and the kids still come with all of their behavior problems every day...but I can honestly say that I love those kids. I'm not sure how THAT works, but as I've been able to build up more of a relationship with each of them, I definitely feel more ...protective(?) of them.
I should work on my plans, but allllll I want to do is sleep.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Dreams....
I had the strangest dream last night and I want to write about it.
I was driving on some highway and I saw a gigantic truck up ahead. (we're not talking your normal truck) it was like triple the size of something you'd normally see on the road. As I got closer and closer I could tell that the air around me was quickly filling up with something like brown dust/stones and all of a sudden....I couldn't see. I couldn't see the road or cars or anything, I tried to keep the car straight hoping to get through this cloud of whatever... and then I crashed.
When everything cleared I could see that there was something like snow all over the road, but really it was more like slushy dirt. I kept trying to drive straight but I couldn't. I couldn't get back on the road even as the other cars around me seemed to be doing fine.
I think it's so neat the way our dreams carry our emotions out in stories that our brains just...create.
This is what I found online..
If you are driving and can’t see the road ahead it’s a sign that you do not know where you are headed in life or don’t know what to expect in the near future.
Um. BINGO. I feel like this everyday.
I feel so lost sometimes. I have no idea what I want to do with myself or with my life.
I have to say... the hardest thing to deal with in teaching, that I never considered, is the feeling of judgement I constantly get from other people. (...at least that is what it feels like on my end)
It's no question first year of teaching is not easy. It's just not. For anyone.
The most upset I ever get though is when I feel like others are judging my ability to do this...and not in a good way. I'm sure my personality plays a part in that too though, and the insecurities I already feel in myself.
It creates such a struggle for me because I try SO hard. It feels like I give it my all but that it still isn't good enough. I just want to be great at this profession but the steps to get there.....the stretching....just hurts. A lot. Can I even get there?
I always, always tell people (mostly in interviews) that my strength is constructive criticism. I appreciate it because otherwise I can't grow and I can't improve myself. Sometimes it just feels like I'm expected to be better, to DO better than I am.... I make mistakes ALL the time, but what first year teacher doesn't? I'm only human. I'm certainly not perfect. I'm really trying though.... even though it doesn't seem to be good enough. It's the worst feeling when you give something your all....and you still fail. And what does that say about what you're trying to do?
Thoughts for a Saturday morning....
Off to clean like crazy! My place is wreck.
I was driving on some highway and I saw a gigantic truck up ahead. (we're not talking your normal truck) it was like triple the size of something you'd normally see on the road. As I got closer and closer I could tell that the air around me was quickly filling up with something like brown dust/stones and all of a sudden....I couldn't see. I couldn't see the road or cars or anything, I tried to keep the car straight hoping to get through this cloud of whatever... and then I crashed.
When everything cleared I could see that there was something like snow all over the road, but really it was more like slushy dirt. I kept trying to drive straight but I couldn't. I couldn't get back on the road even as the other cars around me seemed to be doing fine.
I think it's so neat the way our dreams carry our emotions out in stories that our brains just...create.
This is what I found online..
If you are driving and can’t see the road ahead it’s a sign that you do not know where you are headed in life or don’t know what to expect in the near future.
Um. BINGO. I feel like this everyday.
I feel so lost sometimes. I have no idea what I want to do with myself or with my life.
I have to say... the hardest thing to deal with in teaching, that I never considered, is the feeling of judgement I constantly get from other people. (...at least that is what it feels like on my end)
It's no question first year of teaching is not easy. It's just not. For anyone.
The most upset I ever get though is when I feel like others are judging my ability to do this...and not in a good way. I'm sure my personality plays a part in that too though, and the insecurities I already feel in myself.
It creates such a struggle for me because I try SO hard. It feels like I give it my all but that it still isn't good enough. I just want to be great at this profession but the steps to get there.....the stretching....just hurts. A lot. Can I even get there?
I always, always tell people (mostly in interviews) that my strength is constructive criticism. I appreciate it because otherwise I can't grow and I can't improve myself. Sometimes it just feels like I'm expected to be better, to DO better than I am.... I make mistakes ALL the time, but what first year teacher doesn't? I'm only human. I'm certainly not perfect. I'm really trying though.... even though it doesn't seem to be good enough. It's the worst feeling when you give something your all....and you still fail. And what does that say about what you're trying to do?
Thoughts for a Saturday morning....
Off to clean like crazy! My place is wreck.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Your will be done
Today when I looked at the weather app on my phone it said 77 degrees. =]
It made me smile, because 77 degrees is flippin awesome and because I like 7's....
but anywho.
I went to a church called Manna for the second time today. I really like it there. The worship is AAAmazing.
It brought me to tears again...
We were singing " Forever Reign" and a man was praying about the hard things we are each dealing with and giving them up to God and such... How He knows each of our hearts, He knows our struggles... praying for His will to be done.
The message was good too. (even though it was on a scren..ha) I think I can live with that.
If you know me at all, you probably know that I have a love for reading and can usually devour books in a matter of days...(thanks mom for passing this on to me! ha)
Right now, I'm reading a book called "The Storyteller" by Jodi Piccoult. She is by FAR my favorite author... I've read more than ten of her books and love every one.
This one is soo good, but also very upsetting. It's about the Holocaust.
Before reading, I had no idea what it was about. It is very touching, shocking, and devastating to be reminded about the acts committed in Poland from 1940-1945.
Some parts have been so hard to read especially knowing that this actually happened. People suffered and died in countless inhumane, evil acts.... ugh.
Tomorrow is April 15th and it has been 68 years since one of the work camps Bergen-Belsen was liberated on April 15th, 1945.
Just crazy.
"You are free, they said over the loudspeakers in English, in German, in Yiddish, in Polish. You are free, be calm. Food is coming. Help is on the way." -the storyteller
"...I know how powerful a story can be. It can change the course of history. It can save a life. But it can also be a sinkhole, a quick sand in which you become stuck. ....Truth is so much harder than fiction." -The Storyteller
It made me smile, because 77 degrees is flippin awesome and because I like 7's....
but anywho.
I went to a church called Manna for the second time today. I really like it there. The worship is AAAmazing.
It brought me to tears again...
We were singing " Forever Reign" and a man was praying about the hard things we are each dealing with and giving them up to God and such... How He knows each of our hearts, He knows our struggles... praying for His will to be done.
The message was good too. (even though it was on a scren..ha) I think I can live with that.
If you know me at all, you probably know that I have a love for reading and can usually devour books in a matter of days...(thanks mom for passing this on to me! ha)
Right now, I'm reading a book called "The Storyteller" by Jodi Piccoult. She is by FAR my favorite author... I've read more than ten of her books and love every one.
This one is soo good, but also very upsetting. It's about the Holocaust.
Before reading, I had no idea what it was about. It is very touching, shocking, and devastating to be reminded about the acts committed in Poland from 1940-1945.
Some parts have been so hard to read especially knowing that this actually happened. People suffered and died in countless inhumane, evil acts.... ugh.
Tomorrow is April 15th and it has been 68 years since one of the work camps Bergen-Belsen was liberated on April 15th, 1945.
Just crazy.
"You are free, they said over the loudspeakers in English, in German, in Yiddish, in Polish. You are free, be calm. Food is coming. Help is on the way." -the storyteller
"...I know how powerful a story can be. It can change the course of history. It can save a life. But it can also be a sinkhole, a quick sand in which you become stuck. ....Truth is so much harder than fiction." -The Storyteller
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