Love is patient

Well hi. :)

Today is Sunday and I've somehow made a habit of blogging on Friday's and Sunday's..hmm. I blame it on teaching.

My full week of teaching is done and over with! WooHOO!! What a week it was!

It was certainly challenging and I'm so amazed at how God really pulled me through it.

On Tuesday in particular I had a really terrible day. It was a 2hr delay because of some snow we got overnight. So the kids were CRAZY that day. The routine was a bit different and I think that messed them up too. I was the only one in the room with them basically all day and it was tough. They were SO chatty and loud, and hyper. To make things a million times worse, that one boy who I might have mentioned (maybe not..?) was out of control. He NEEDS something. Like medication or an aid but he isn't officially diagnosed with anything because his parents won't take him to the doctor. ANyway- he was having an OFF day. He refused to do any work. I didn't know what to do. He was up and out of his seat constantly. During my math lesson he was even rolling around on the floor. I just let him go because I couldn't make him sit down.
I was trying to get him to make up some work that he had refused to do earlier in the day at this recess type time, and he was up walking on the stage, walking on the bleachers, he found a sharp needle-like object and was playing with it. He wouldn't listen to me! I didn't know what to do. It was the worst feeling in the world. I just went home and cried that day.
One of the other days when he was up and out of his seat, I forced him to hold my hand at the front of the room because he wouldn't sit down. (Then eventually he did because he HATED being forced to hold my hand.

I was upset also because my coop gave me feedback along the lines of..."it's a fine line between letting him go because you need to teach the rest of the kids and making sure HE is learning too." I mean, yeah. I get that. He is a low kid. As a teacher I would be solely responsible for him making the benchmarks. But honestly- what on earth can I do if he is refusing to sit in his seat or do any work. ??
I was so frustrated.

That aside. I still like teaching. I think...;) I'm just so glad I'm done my full week.

The best thing of all, is that I've felt so close to God this week. :) :)
He is so completely amazing. I've been trying to set aside some real time to meet with Him and it really does such good for my soul. :) God really spoke through some of my friends this week too. I was reminded that some kids just act out because they don't know how to handle emotions and things they might be going through at home. I was like wow- yeah. Above everything these kids (even when they're bad and I want to scream at them) are just kids. They need love and respect just as much as I do. It helped to keep that in mind as I finished out the week. God also showed me these awesome verses about love.

13And so faith, hope, love abide [faith--conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things; hope--joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love--true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corin. 13:13

1EAGERLY PURSUE and seek to acquire [this] love [make it your aim, your great quest]; and earnestly desire and cultivate the spiritual endowments (gifts), especially that you may prophesy ([a]interpret the divine will and purpose in inspired preaching and teaching). 1 Corin 14:1

"Love endures long and is patient and kind..." 1 Corin. 13:4

23Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, Colossians 3:23

That last verse is great too. I love the reminder that I am not working for my teacher, or my supervisor, or the kids. I'm doing all of this for God and His glory.

Last night I went to a talent show at LBC. It was pretty neat. There were three girls in particular who were awesome. One played piano while another sang the song "what do I know of Holy" and the third girl painted a picture as they sang and played. It was a truly beautiful display of glorifying God with the talents He has given.

It made me remember that I need to glorify God daily in everything I do and say. I want to make it my life mission that God is glorified through my gifts, words, and actions.

God is the supreme ruler of all..! It makes my heart fill with joy to think about His goodness and how He cares for us!
:)

Enjoy this gorgeous weather today!
Also listen to this song. I know it's justin beiber and people have their feelings about him, but I love this song!

Indescribable, Uncontainable

I was playing this song a little bit ago on the piano and the truth behind the words really sank in.

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

Wow. Just wow.

This weekend went by in the blink of an eye. I'm sad it's over.

At the R&R retreat this weekend things were a bit different than usual. We had communion with bread, and prayed over the other women at our table. It was so great, and reminded me how much I love the power of prayer.
I realized through journaling that morning that I haven't been getting that genuine, true, amazing relational time with God lately. I have my 10 minutes or so in the morning but then when I go throughout the day I slowly start to go by my "own" strength. I hadn't realized it until this weekend, but I haven't been spending that REAL heart, unloading time with God that I SO need and desperately want. School takes up so much time and when I'm home in the evening I make so many excuses why not to spend more time with God. (I'm too tired to read my Bible, or think about the condition of my heart, pray...etc.) BUT I really need to try to push past those excuses. I know my heart will thank me for the time, and so will my relationship with God. Everything just "runs" better when we are running on that fuel that can only come from the spirit of God.

This weekend I was also talking with a good friend of mine and she was talking about the "masks" that we all put on. We have a mask that we wear. It covers up what we are really feeling inside. This weekend as I was reflecting a bit I realized that I do often put on a mask that I'm A-okay, all the time. I don't always feel good in my heart and mind but I want to appear happy and joyful because I know I should be that way. I don't even really think about it anymore, it's just second nature. There's a fine line I guess between complaining about things in our lives and being real when we aren't perfectly okay, yet being content in that. Does that make sense?
Like...I don't HAVE to appear like I'm completely happy if I'm truly not, but at the same time I don't want to complain and be a debby-downer. I know women though, who are real, they show their emotion when something isn't quite right but at the same time still have that strength and soul peace from God. So I know it can happen, and I want to be that way too.

I also was thinking about how similar we all are. We are all so similar. To our core we want to be loved, and love others and do right in God's eyes. There are things in all of our lives that we want to improve and that we bring to God constantly. It's just so neat to think about how God knows each of us individually and meets with us, and really hears. He knows. Why am I so quick to judge other women when I really am more like them than I am different from them..?

(That's not pertaining to anything specific, I was just thinking about it this weekend)

In my time praying this evening I stumbled upon this verse and I've been soaking it in. :)You should too.

15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:15-19

Teaching my full week starting tomorrow! I'm scared, nervous, excited and confident, all at the same time. eeek. Pray for mee! :)

Also-listen to this song! It's amazing.

Amazing love

Lately, within the past couple days, I've really been struggling with THE things I alllways seem to struggle with. Things will be going good, and I'll feel like ya know, I'm starting to get this trust thing down..

and then WHAM..all the fear, all the worries, the insecurities, and this overwhelming feeling that I am inadequate in every aspect of who I am, weigh me down again.

I don't get it. I know it's a journey and there are ups and downs, but I feel like it happens so often and for me it changes so quickly. Like within days of feeling a peace and contentment I start to feel just gross again. I can try to remember that God loves me, and he has me, and that what I'm feeling is just that...a feeling and everything is okay, but that is really easier said then done. When I'm in that place I sometimes feel like NOTHING can pull me out of feeling that way.

Last night I spent the night at Shelby's and it was a good time. I really needed to be around people and it was really perfect timing for our lil' camp out to happen when it did.

On kind of a side note, God spoke to me in the MOST AMAZING way today. First I need to back track a little..

So it might sound a little strange but lately, like within the past couple of weeks I've been noticing robins.I don't know why, but I really like them. haa. I know..it's weird, why do I like robins..? But I do.

So anyway, lately I've been seeing SO many of them!It wouldn't seem so out of the ordinary except for I've never noticed them before like I have been the past couple weeks. It's not like I've even been looking for them, they just seem to pop up out nowhere and in REALLY obvious ways. Like one time one landed in the street right in front of my car when I was driving...(I wasn't driving too fast mind you..) and it like wouldn't even move when my car got close. And then another time when I was walking somewhere one flew directly in front of me so that I HAD to see it. So weird.

So lat night before I went to Shelb's I even looked up robins on the computer to see if there was any kind of symbolism in them. haha. I really felt that God was trying to get my attention or something, especially because I like robins.. But I couldn't really find anything that meant something to me from the computer.

Well today the girls were going to go to church somewhere, they hadn't decided where yet, but I knew that I personally needed to leave early to get to Kylee's and UCF since I was playing guitar at church. I got up earlier than everyone else to shower and I had to leave by 9 to get back to MU at 10.

So I get in my car and a couple songs played before a sermon started. I usually don't even listen to the radio on longer trips because I'm a fan of my ipod but at this particular time I had to go with the radio because I needed my GPS and it needed to charge since the battery was low. Therefore no ipod. ha

So the sermon starts and I thought about turning on the CD player(I know ha..come on Kari)but I figured I'd listen for a little bit. The sermon on the radio ended up being completely AMAZING. (It was all about attachment, worry, fear, control..etc.)I felt that God had orchestrated all of everything so that I could be there in THAT specific moment to hear that specific sermon. It was so great already..

As if that wasn't awesome enough, about 20 or so minutes in he starts talking about robins.

I could not b e l i e v e it.

wow.

I don't even know how to describe what I was feeling. That was clearly God and the sermon was SO directed at me and what I'm dealing with and truly struggle with..and he talked about robins!!!

?!?!

I can't even tell you how much I've been thinking about these dang robins lately and that they must have some meaning.

God spoke to me in such a REAL and personal way through that sermon and that connection with the robins. It blew me away. I was seriously in awe, and I just started to cry.

This morning was one of those times I will always remember of God expressing his love for me. It was like he was speaking directly to me, loud and clear, and in such a personal way. EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

One of the coolest parts about it is the timing of it all. It started right when I left and I got to hear the whole thing because the ride from Shelby's ended up being about an hour. (The SAME length of the church program!) wow! AND if I wouldn't have been at Shelby's or been playing that morning at UCF, I never would have heard it.

I can't wait to listen to the sermon again once they post it online. I really need some time to digest it and I'm sure after that I'll write some more thoughts on the actual sermon later when I DO have some time to digest.

:)

They haven't posted it as of yet, but when they do I'll add the link.