That dreaded word...

Change.

It's that word I loathe.

I try my best to steer clear of it.

Avoid it.

I fear it.

Most days I pretend that I can handle that word all on my own.

It makes me feel all, scrambled up inside.

It feels like I just got settled and I can already feel the winds of change coming my way again.

It feels like everything I put some comfort and reliance on is going to crumble soon like an old stone building.

I'm thinking about moving again which is kind of exciting, but it's stressful. Especially because I have like no money.

I'm not certain about it yet, but the idea is there, therefore my brain feels the need to worry and obsess over it.

I'm scared because I don't think I've ever lived by myself, and let's just say the apartments that are the cheapest leave out some of the "safety" element. Not that they're not safe, they just don't feel as safe.

Let me just tell you, it's not easy to find an affordable apartment, near my job, that also allows for pets and feels homey and safe. ha

not like I've been looking all day or something.......noooo. not me...

I've also found myself worrying about the job thing again. Ugh! I'm so blessed and thankful for my job now, and I really do love it there. I don't necessarily love the job itself all the time, but I love everything about the school... It's just that sometimes I get caught up in wondering about what I'll do next year.

It's another one of those things though, I can't know...until it comes...so I have to wait and trust.

That's hard.

bleh. I've been so frustrated with people lately.

I keep finding myself thinking..."whyyy did you just say that?!"

Like...? people frustrate me and I don't understand them sometimes.

It reminds me that I need to make sure I myself am thinking before I speak because I don't want to hurt another persons' feelings like they hurt me, with their words.

..but life goes on I guess.