So..I decided to start another blog. My intent for this blog is to be able to record how I see God working in my life, what He is teaching me and how He changes me as I continue on in this journey with Him. My other one had a slightly different focus..it was more about me, but part of the reason I want to start this up again is to turn the focus off of myself and towards God, the perfecter of all things. :]
So tonight I was spending some much needed time with God. Lately I have been extremely distracted by life and very concerned with the daily things that surround me. As a result I've been extremely anxious, and fearful, and looking ahead to plan days that haven't started yet. I've really been feeling God's tug on my heart to come back to Him to let Him fill me up. God really reminded me tonight that He is greater than I could ever begin to fathom.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [a] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand. Psalm 139:15-18
God reminded me that He made me and knows what's going to happen in my life long before I get to those points. He KNOWS me. This is such a comfort to remember that God understands who I am and what I struggle with because He made me this way. I am no surprise to Him. The sum of His thoughts towards me are GREATER than the grains of sand. Wow. That blows me away to think about all the little, tiny, specs that grains of sand are..you could never count them..but God thinks about me more than THAT. What a comfort to know God cares so deeply.
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children- Psalm 103:15-17
I love this passage. So often I become so focused on my life here on earth that my joy takes a back seat. I look for other things in life to make me happy and occupy my time, but the way I've been feeling lately is a HUGE newsflash that this life isn't about me and there is so much MORE going on. I get so rapped up in the little things and I forget about God and His goodness and everything that He is doing. Especially now that it's spring, this flower analogy really clicked for me tonight. I was thinking about the flowers like it says in the verse. They come so quickly, and they're beautiful..but then they are gone just as fast..and that is my life. It really puts things in perspective. It makes that project I was worrying about and stressing over seem like absolutely nothing in comparison to God. Yes, I'll work on my projects, they'll get done..finals will come and go...but this is a tiny, tiny, insignificant part of the big picture that is my short life. I want to make the MOST I can out of my life here, not waste it worrying about tomorrow. I don't want to miss what God has for me because I'm too fearful or stuck in my own little corner. (If you weren't at R&R listen to the April podcast..so good!)
Another thing they talked about at R&R was the vision of God knocking at our door. We can open the door and invite Him to come in...but He doesn't want to come in..He wants US to come OUT. I want to go with God! I don't want to be so stuck in my fear that I miss the abundant life God wants me to live.
God also reminded me yet again that even though my life is ever changing He will remain the same. (Psalm 102:27) I have nothing to be afraid of because God knows me, cares about me, loves me, has my whole life planned out, and is ALWAYS with me, inviting me in. What a privilege to be able to come to God and know that He is always with me.
Blessed be the God who is vast enough to hold the oceans in His hands yet still understand my fears and silence them.
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