God's tug

So God continues to amaze me. Today was not the best day I've ever had. I woke up this morning with a really anxious feeling in my belly, and it stuck around pretty much all day. There is nothing in my life right now that should be causing me to feel upset, but today I just didn't feel okay.
It is a very rare thing that I have a free night during the week to relax or do something other than school work and tonight just happened to be one of those nights. For some reason instead of accepting it as a blessing for some reason I felt panicked about it, like I better find something to do. (This doesn't really make any sense because after this semester a laid back night is a HUGE blessing) I started making myself busy and I was going to organize some of my school papers into a binder...and then I really felt God telling me to STOP..and come to Him. I felt Him speaking saying "What are you doing?" He was telling me that I don't have to keep myself so busy and distracted. He was really calling me to come spend time with Him. I realized that I've become accustomed to being busy, and I actually like it that way because it allows me to not think about what's bothering me and really going on in my heart. I think that's why I felt panicked when I wasn't busy tonight, I'm just not used to it.
I also realized after I stopped and had some time with God tonight that Satan has really been feeding me lies today..I think that's part of why I felt so bad.I'm not sure why...but I had the overwhelming feeling today that no one really cares about me..(?) It sounds so dumb when I write it...but for some reason that become so real to me today. How sick is it that Satan could make me believe such a lie? He takes real situations in my life that are true and twists them to make them seem really ugly and bad for me. I shouldn't feel so alone, because I know that there are so many people in my life that do care about me..but Satan really knows how to take my biggest fear and make it seem like it's real. I hate how he knows just how to do it..and before I know it he has this grip on me.
I'm so glad God called me to Himself in such a way that I knew it was Him. I feel like this is one of those times in life when God is really breaking me down again. Yes, Satan for sure messed me all up today, but I think to that God is presenting me with circumstances where I NEED Him for comfort and peace. I'm worried and scared about all the change that will happen again soon, but God always reminds me that he will never change.
"For I am the Lord, I do not change; that is why you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed." Mal. 3:6

I've been reminded the past couple says what it means to be satisfied by God and God alone. In caregroup we went over John 6 where Jesus talks about how He is the bread of life and I found those verses again tonight. It's awesome because it's something I could already here God speaking, that I need to be filled with Him and not other things.

27Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." John 6:27

I shouldn't be seeking after things in life that are so temporary and that will "spoil"..but God who will last. This is such a simple message that I've KNOWN, I just haven't been taking it to heart lately and I didn't realize it until God started to break me again.

35Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:35 :)

John 14 always gives me such comfort and it really made me smile tonight. Especially:

26But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.

27Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] John 14:26-27

I also was amazed by these verses tonight:
17For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!],

18Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. 2 Corin. 4:17-18

What a comfort to remember that my struggles here on earth aren't for nothing..they are preparing me for everlasting glory that is beyond ALL measure, and surpassing ALL comparisons I could think of! wow. If that's not enough to make someone feel joyful I don't know what is..:]

I was also then looking at these couple verses:
2Here indeed, in this [present abode, body], we sigh and groan inwardly, because we yearn to be clothed over [we yearn to put on our celestial body like a garment, to be fitted out] with our heavenly dwelling,

3So that by putting it on we may not be found naked (without a body).

4For while we are still in this tent, we groan under the burden and sigh deeply (weighed down, depressed, oppressed)--not that we want to put off the body (the clothing of the spirit), but rather that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal (our dying body) may be swallowed up by life [[a]after the resurrection]. 2 Corin. 5:2-4
They really describe perfectly how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I just get so tired of this life here and I just want to give up.. but those feelings only show the longing that I have for my real home in heaven, so that is reassuring.

:) 31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Blessed be the God who allows me to become broken but brings me new strength in my weaknesses!