One of my friends was singing this song the other day and I was listening to it tonight, and it is definitely way up there on my LOVE-this-song list. It's called In Your Arms by Meredith Andrews. A bunch of her other songs are really pretty too!
In Your Arms-Meredith Andrews
I’m turning the world off
Embracing the silence
Walking away from all the voices
That are Screaming in my ear
I've been too caught up
I've been so stressed out
All of the noise replaced the whisper
That used to be so clear
So I close every door
Put my face back on the floor
And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms
I’m letting my fears go
Giving You control
For You are the one who holds me closer
In my soul's darkest night
Everything I see
Is so temporary
So help me to run the race before me
With eternity in sight
Now I close every door
Put my face back on the floor
And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms
To sit at Your feet
At Your table of mercy
To gaze on Your beauty, my Lord
To drink from Your well
And be changed by Your glory
How could I ask for more
Jesus, how could I ask for more
And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Jeremiah 17
Well, unfortunately I have failed this week at keeping up with my blog. It's finals time though, so I feel like that's a valid excuse. I haven't even been able to keep up reading others' blogs this week.
God is doing some awesome things in my heart though. :) I've had a couple of revelations and things today and I'm still trying to sort through it all, hopefully writing it down will help.
This morning there was an R and R retreat and it was really great.
Jenny was talking about bearing fruit and how we obviously should be bearing fruit, BUT, we should be cautious to the fact that we aren't bearing "fast fruit". It was the first time I had ever heard this concept. If we bear "fast fruit" it most likely means that we have no root, or foundation and that it won't last in times of trials. She was focusing a lot on the "roots" today. She said it's better to have nothing on the surface, no fruit, because you could be growing much needed roots down deep. Even though you may not see a fruit RIGHT now, it doesn't mean that God is not working in your life.
She talked about the four T's, trials, trouble, testing, and temptation and how these things can "scorch" our plants, making us hide from the sun. People often fall away in those times because they do not have ROOTS. They go farther from God. BUT those T's aren't always bad.. they can cause growth in us IF we have roots. The only way we can grow roots is to listen and obey God's word. To turn TO Him to allow those roots to grow.
(I hope that makes sense, she uses a lot of analogies..and explains it way better than I can)
Anyway, the journal time at the retreat this morning was a total TEN for me. God really spoke to me. I realized that, for one, I feel like my life should ALWAYS be producing fruit at ALL times, and I think I get ahead of myself. I certainly have been letting those T's (trials, temptations, troubles, testing..) get to me in the wrong way. I'm so easily moved by them. I wrote down that sometimes I hear Satan's voice louder than God's, especially lately. When those hard times and T's come I have been turning away from God instead of towards Him, not allowing Him to do His work that He wants to do. I realized that nothing can come out of these seemingly bad things in my head/heart if I don't come to God to use it and mold me through all that junk. The ROOTS will never grow if I ignore God and don't come to Him with these things.
I really heard God's voice this morning saying "COME TO ME IN ALL TIMES!!"
He wants me to come when I'm anxious. He wants me to come when I'm fearful. He wants me to come when I'm lonely. He even wants me to come when I'm bitter. Or when I'm angry, or even jealous. God WANTS ME TO COME! At ALL TIMES! Whatever it is I'm doing or feeling, it doesn't matter, He wants it. He wants me. There is nothing He can do if I choose to keep those things in my heart. He can't grow those roots in me if I don't bring these things.
The other revelation is that I've really been hearing Satan's voice so loudly lately that it's affecting my mood, and my actions, and worst of all, my heart. I was reading Pastor Duane's sermon notes from the sermon I missed a couple of weeks ago when I went home, it was about discerning the voice of God. It's something that seems like it should be so simple but these few points were the ones that "hit" the most for me.
1)God's voice leads to peace inside you
2)God's voice will not contradict the written word of God
3)God's voice will be confirmed
4)Acting on it brings glory to God
With this and the retreat and God speaking today, I've been realizing that I've had SO much junk in my heart lately. There is so much I need to bring to God. There are so many lies that Satan has been putting in my head. And there are a lot of places I need to allow God to work. After reflecting, I can certainly see that there are things creeping up in my heart that I never ever want to be there. I've been acting in ways that I've regretted all because of the enemy's subtle voice in my head.
It's a HUGE weakness on my part that I've been listening to it and not keeping these things in check.
A big problem (or whatever you want to call it) is that I'm seriously insecure. The enemy has been using true situations in my life and twisting them to seem like something they really aren't, feeding off of my insecurity.
It's disgusting. There aren't any other words I would use. It disgusts me how my human nature can take over and how I've been acting/what I've been holding in my heart. That's why it's SUCH AN AMAZING thing that God still WANTS it ALL.
When I come to Him through each trial and temptation..etc, he can use that to grow me. Then, when I have those roots deep down, I can still receive His nourishing water in the storms and drought. I will be so secure that I won't be moved.
A lot of scripture was highlighted today but this was my favorite.
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
7[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is.
8For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.
Be sure to come to God in your own life so that you'll be "growing" long lasting fruit! :)
God is doing some awesome things in my heart though. :) I've had a couple of revelations and things today and I'm still trying to sort through it all, hopefully writing it down will help.
This morning there was an R and R retreat and it was really great.
Jenny was talking about bearing fruit and how we obviously should be bearing fruit, BUT, we should be cautious to the fact that we aren't bearing "fast fruit". It was the first time I had ever heard this concept. If we bear "fast fruit" it most likely means that we have no root, or foundation and that it won't last in times of trials. She was focusing a lot on the "roots" today. She said it's better to have nothing on the surface, no fruit, because you could be growing much needed roots down deep. Even though you may not see a fruit RIGHT now, it doesn't mean that God is not working in your life.
She talked about the four T's, trials, trouble, testing, and temptation and how these things can "scorch" our plants, making us hide from the sun. People often fall away in those times because they do not have ROOTS. They go farther from God. BUT those T's aren't always bad.. they can cause growth in us IF we have roots. The only way we can grow roots is to listen and obey God's word. To turn TO Him to allow those roots to grow.
(I hope that makes sense, she uses a lot of analogies..and explains it way better than I can)
Anyway, the journal time at the retreat this morning was a total TEN for me. God really spoke to me. I realized that, for one, I feel like my life should ALWAYS be producing fruit at ALL times, and I think I get ahead of myself. I certainly have been letting those T's (trials, temptations, troubles, testing..) get to me in the wrong way. I'm so easily moved by them. I wrote down that sometimes I hear Satan's voice louder than God's, especially lately. When those hard times and T's come I have been turning away from God instead of towards Him, not allowing Him to do His work that He wants to do. I realized that nothing can come out of these seemingly bad things in my head/heart if I don't come to God to use it and mold me through all that junk. The ROOTS will never grow if I ignore God and don't come to Him with these things.
I really heard God's voice this morning saying "COME TO ME IN ALL TIMES!!"
He wants me to come when I'm anxious. He wants me to come when I'm fearful. He wants me to come when I'm lonely. He even wants me to come when I'm bitter. Or when I'm angry, or even jealous. God WANTS ME TO COME! At ALL TIMES! Whatever it is I'm doing or feeling, it doesn't matter, He wants it. He wants me. There is nothing He can do if I choose to keep those things in my heart. He can't grow those roots in me if I don't bring these things.
The other revelation is that I've really been hearing Satan's voice so loudly lately that it's affecting my mood, and my actions, and worst of all, my heart. I was reading Pastor Duane's sermon notes from the sermon I missed a couple of weeks ago when I went home, it was about discerning the voice of God. It's something that seems like it should be so simple but these few points were the ones that "hit" the most for me.
1)God's voice leads to peace inside you
2)God's voice will not contradict the written word of God
3)God's voice will be confirmed
4)Acting on it brings glory to God
With this and the retreat and God speaking today, I've been realizing that I've had SO much junk in my heart lately. There is so much I need to bring to God. There are so many lies that Satan has been putting in my head. And there are a lot of places I need to allow God to work. After reflecting, I can certainly see that there are things creeping up in my heart that I never ever want to be there. I've been acting in ways that I've regretted all because of the enemy's subtle voice in my head.
It's a HUGE weakness on my part that I've been listening to it and not keeping these things in check.
A big problem (or whatever you want to call it) is that I'm seriously insecure. The enemy has been using true situations in my life and twisting them to seem like something they really aren't, feeding off of my insecurity.
It's disgusting. There aren't any other words I would use. It disgusts me how my human nature can take over and how I've been acting/what I've been holding in my heart. That's why it's SUCH AN AMAZING thing that God still WANTS it ALL.
When I come to Him through each trial and temptation..etc, he can use that to grow me. Then, when I have those roots deep down, I can still receive His nourishing water in the storms and drought. I will be so secure that I won't be moved.
A lot of scripture was highlighted today but this was my favorite.
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
7[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is.
8For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.
Be sure to come to God in your own life so that you'll be "growing" long lasting fruit! :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Decisions and Safety Nets
So I'm at a place right now where I have about a million questions running through my head.
I'm trying to figure out my life, in a major way.
I do this thing where I think about all the possible options, and then all the things that could/might happen, and how things will work out with each option.
Now, you could say, sure well that's normal. And maybe it is, to a certain extent. But I do this to the EXTREME, and I make myself sick about it. All of these hypothetical situations in my head are driving me crazy.
There are some big life decisions headed my way. (at least for me and my little life)
What am I going to do after graduation?
I originally, in the back of my mind always thought I wanted to live out here by school afterwards. I like the area...but more than that it's because certain close friends of mine are here. And well, I don't want to have to leave them. :( They're like my safety net.
So I've been trying and trying to think about roommates and it just seems to be falling through. My landlord was here yesterday fixing a light and he mentioned that he wants to know if any of us are staying on another year lease.. and that didn't help my crazy, controlling, figure-everything-out brain.
The other part of all of this is that I HAVE been praying about it. When I was anxious in September about post-grad, I started praying. I prayed that God would direct me, and show me, and LEAD me where He wanted me. God always does. For me, I usually know if I'm being led in a certain direction if I feel a peace about one decision over the other. (or if doors are being closed)
..So I'm sort of wondering if this is God closing doors..? The roommates are seriously falling through, and there aren't many other options for me since I'm an oldie now and most of my good friends already graduated. I can't live here by myself, because not only wouldn't I want to.. but money wise, that would not be okay.
I'm scared to say it but I also all of a sudden feel a peace about being home. A good friend that I know from school is living around there and so I WOULD have at least one good friend. That alone gave me a peace. The situation with her looking for houses IN (anonymous)where I live is certainly ironic enough. Like what are the chances out of allll of the places that she could live that she would find somewhere 5 minutes from my house?!
I also like being home, I wouldn't need to pay rent, AND I wouldn't be alone.
I feel like God is leading me there in a way... But then there is part of me that panics because it's not really what I want ideally. I would still much rather be here near my best friends...
I don't at all want to be ignoring God's calling for my life.
Are there options here? or does God lead to ONE decision, one way to do something..?
I would love any input..:)
Happy Sunday!
I'm trying to figure out my life, in a major way.
I do this thing where I think about all the possible options, and then all the things that could/might happen, and how things will work out with each option.
Now, you could say, sure well that's normal. And maybe it is, to a certain extent. But I do this to the EXTREME, and I make myself sick about it. All of these hypothetical situations in my head are driving me crazy.
There are some big life decisions headed my way. (at least for me and my little life)
What am I going to do after graduation?
I originally, in the back of my mind always thought I wanted to live out here by school afterwards. I like the area...but more than that it's because certain close friends of mine are here. And well, I don't want to have to leave them. :( They're like my safety net.
So I've been trying and trying to think about roommates and it just seems to be falling through. My landlord was here yesterday fixing a light and he mentioned that he wants to know if any of us are staying on another year lease.. and that didn't help my crazy, controlling, figure-everything-out brain.
The other part of all of this is that I HAVE been praying about it. When I was anxious in September about post-grad, I started praying. I prayed that God would direct me, and show me, and LEAD me where He wanted me. God always does. For me, I usually know if I'm being led in a certain direction if I feel a peace about one decision over the other. (or if doors are being closed)
..So I'm sort of wondering if this is God closing doors..? The roommates are seriously falling through, and there aren't many other options for me since I'm an oldie now and most of my good friends already graduated. I can't live here by myself, because not only wouldn't I want to.. but money wise, that would not be okay.
I'm scared to say it but I also all of a sudden feel a peace about being home. A good friend that I know from school is living around there and so I WOULD have at least one good friend. That alone gave me a peace. The situation with her looking for houses IN (anonymous)where I live is certainly ironic enough. Like what are the chances out of allll of the places that she could live that she would find somewhere 5 minutes from my house?!
I also like being home, I wouldn't need to pay rent, AND I wouldn't be alone.
I feel like God is leading me there in a way... But then there is part of me that panics because it's not really what I want ideally. I would still much rather be here near my best friends...
I don't at all want to be ignoring God's calling for my life.
Are there options here? or does God lead to ONE decision, one way to do something..?
I would love any input..:)
Happy Sunday!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
God's peace still rules
This post might be really honest..I'm not sure but I'm feelin' it tonight. ha
It's Wednesday night. Which means it's caregroup night, well...it's SUPPOSED to be caregroup night.. (CG is Bible study) but it was cancelled tonight because one of the leaders got sick :( I'm really bummed. I hate to admit it, buuut I start looking forward to Wednesday night... on Monday. ha. Yes. MONDAY. It's kind of sickening but it's really a day that I can't wait to come because I love caregroup that much. All week I wait for it in my head. It's like such a bright spot in my week. Something to look forward to ya know? So yeah, I'm bummed.
I have my dreaded Praxis 2 tests coming up this Saturday so I've been studying, and caregroup is always a nice "forced" break for myself. If I'm home I feel like I should be studying.
Tonight though I decided to do a "soaking" as Kathi called them, and just spend a little quiet time with God (..before I start studying.... If your curious as to what I mean by soaking check out this post
She had us listen to her music and draw, but I just put on some random music (JJ Hellers new album, which is fantastic btw)and started drawing.
I ended up drawing an ocean with a lot of waves and I'm in the waves trying not to drown. At the bottom of the ocean I wrote the words, fear, worry, loneliness, anxiety. I also wrote no fight left..
and then above the ocean I drew a yellow/orange cloud with God's arms reaching down. In the light clouds I wrote peace, love, joy, truth, comfort. I also put MY ARMS ARE OPEN.
It's kind of amazing what kind of things just come out when you sit down to color or draw. My picture seems kind of depressing. I mean...I pretty much drew myself drowning..I know that can't be good.
That's honestly how I've felt these past few days/weeks though, on and off. I seriously feel like I'm drowning sometimes. In worry,fear, anxiety, doubts, you name it. I haven't felt like myself and I've been so depressed. It's the worst feeling ever, because there isn't really a direct reason and it's SO HARD to pull myself out when I'm feeling it.
I felt A LOT better today than yesterday and I've been thanking God for that. I sometimes wonder if I should tell a doctor or someone about it, but it's not consistent, it's so on and off. I'm just not sure if it's normal.
Anyway- in my time tonight God showed up and he pointed out these verses in 1 Peter3:
3Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning...4But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.
...And you are now [Sarah's] true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].
I was also reading in Colossians 3. I love the whole thing, this verse especially stuck out tonight..
15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
I love that. God's peace settles all questions that arise in our minds. (and believe me, I can come up with a lot of 'em.understatement)
So yeah, Happy Wednesday night to all!
It's Wednesday night. Which means it's caregroup night, well...it's SUPPOSED to be caregroup night.. (CG is Bible study) but it was cancelled tonight because one of the leaders got sick :( I'm really bummed. I hate to admit it, buuut I start looking forward to Wednesday night... on Monday. ha. Yes. MONDAY. It's kind of sickening but it's really a day that I can't wait to come because I love caregroup that much. All week I wait for it in my head. It's like such a bright spot in my week. Something to look forward to ya know? So yeah, I'm bummed.
I have my dreaded Praxis 2 tests coming up this Saturday so I've been studying, and caregroup is always a nice "forced" break for myself. If I'm home I feel like I should be studying.
Tonight though I decided to do a "soaking" as Kathi called them, and just spend a little quiet time with God (..before I start studying.... If your curious as to what I mean by soaking check out this post
She had us listen to her music and draw, but I just put on some random music (JJ Hellers new album, which is fantastic btw)and started drawing.
I ended up drawing an ocean with a lot of waves and I'm in the waves trying not to drown. At the bottom of the ocean I wrote the words, fear, worry, loneliness, anxiety. I also wrote no fight left..
and then above the ocean I drew a yellow/orange cloud with God's arms reaching down. In the light clouds I wrote peace, love, joy, truth, comfort. I also put MY ARMS ARE OPEN.
It's kind of amazing what kind of things just come out when you sit down to color or draw. My picture seems kind of depressing. I mean...I pretty much drew myself drowning..I know that can't be good.
That's honestly how I've felt these past few days/weeks though, on and off. I seriously feel like I'm drowning sometimes. In worry,fear, anxiety, doubts, you name it. I haven't felt like myself and I've been so depressed. It's the worst feeling ever, because there isn't really a direct reason and it's SO HARD to pull myself out when I'm feeling it.
I felt A LOT better today than yesterday and I've been thanking God for that. I sometimes wonder if I should tell a doctor or someone about it, but it's not consistent, it's so on and off. I'm just not sure if it's normal.
Anyway- in my time tonight God showed up and he pointed out these verses in 1 Peter3:
3Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning...4But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.
...And you are now [Sarah's] true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].
I was also reading in Colossians 3. I love the whole thing, this verse especially stuck out tonight..
15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
I love that. God's peace settles all questions that arise in our minds. (and believe me, I can come up with a lot of 'em.
So yeah, Happy Wednesday night to all!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Isaiah 41
These were a big comfort this morning. :)
10Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.
13For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!
10Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.
13For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
In good hands
I came home for the weekend and it's been so nice to relax and be lazy:) I don't have TOO much work so it's been so nice to just enjoy being home.
God's peace is completely amazing. There is nothing like it.
Last night I was dealing with some intense anxiety about the future again. (..story of my lifeee right now) This time was different though. Usually when I worry about the future it relates in some way to my biggest fear of being alone. For the first time though, my worries were completely about money.
I've thought about the whole money thing before, but only in a passing thought,last night though it became SO much more real. I was talking to my parents about it and how I want to ideally live out by my school after graduation. Then we were talking about the possibility of where I could get a job and such. We also were talking about subbing. (In my mind I will most likely end up subbing) Then there is the whole question of will I be able to support myself on a simple sub salary? We're talking maybe $100 a day, which isn't too bad a month IF I even would get a job everyday. I really want to stay out by school but if I choose to I'll more than likely be supporting myself.
(Yes..right now I am lucky enough to have my parents supporting me in almost every area financially, and believe me, I do NOT take that for granted!) But next year that will probably change. It would be good if I had a REAL job, so that there wouldn't be a question of whether I could live out there, but alas I don't know what will happen. (obviously..)
So..all this had my head spinning in a MAJOR way last night. I was trying to figure out things that I just CAN'T know until the time comes. (ex. will I find a job? How much will I make? WHERE will I look for a job? etc..) It's scary not knowing, but God will lead me all the way and allow me to know what I need to know when the time comes.
God is also MORE than capable of blessing me with a permanent teaching position, even in these hard times. I don't want to get my hopes up because I know how tough it is but it can and DOES happen. I don't in any way want to put God in a box and plan for the worst. (WHY do I do that??)
Anyway- I have much more of a peace about it right now. I've been praying these concerns and anxieties into God's hands and I know He will guide me in His perfect timing. No matter where I end up, or how things are going, God will be with me.
I heard this quote this week and I think it's perfect (I'm not sure who said it)
"I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds it"
It's such a comfort to remember that God is the one in charge.
Tonight I was also thinking about babies and how we're God's children.
I was thinking about little Benjamin Bowman who entered the world on this past Thursday November 4th, (CONGRATS KYLEE!!!!) and how much God loves him and planned him. Benjamin is just a little baby, he just recently took his first breaths but already God knows his whole life. He knows what paths Benjamin will take and everything that will happen in his life. As I was thinking about this God really helped me to see that I was that baby too. I was fresh and new at one point in my life and I had everything before me that hadn't happened yet. I'm still on my journey and even though I'm obviously older and able to think, it doesn't mean God is in any less control of my life. He still knows the paths I have yet to take. He knew everything that would happen in my 21 years of life and knows what is to come. He KNOWS where I will be next year and He will be WITH me. No matter what is happening in my life, whether I feel it is good or bad, God will be there to turn to and lean on.
Amen! What a comfort. I'm so thankful.
God's peace is completely amazing. There is nothing like it.
Last night I was dealing with some intense anxiety about the future again. (..story of my lifeee right now) This time was different though. Usually when I worry about the future it relates in some way to my biggest fear of being alone. For the first time though, my worries were completely about money.
I've thought about the whole money thing before, but only in a passing thought,last night though it became SO much more real. I was talking to my parents about it and how I want to ideally live out by my school after graduation. Then we were talking about the possibility of where I could get a job and such. We also were talking about subbing. (In my mind I will most likely end up subbing) Then there is the whole question of will I be able to support myself on a simple sub salary? We're talking maybe $100 a day, which isn't too bad a month IF I even would get a job everyday. I really want to stay out by school but if I choose to I'll more than likely be supporting myself.
(Yes..right now I am lucky enough to have my parents supporting me in almost every area financially, and believe me, I do NOT take that for granted!) But next year that will probably change. It would be good if I had a REAL job, so that there wouldn't be a question of whether I could live out there, but alas I don't know what will happen. (obviously..)
So..all this had my head spinning in a MAJOR way last night. I was trying to figure out things that I just CAN'T know until the time comes. (ex. will I find a job? How much will I make? WHERE will I look for a job? etc..) It's scary not knowing, but God will lead me all the way and allow me to know what I need to know when the time comes.
God is also MORE than capable of blessing me with a permanent teaching position, even in these hard times. I don't want to get my hopes up because I know how tough it is but it can and DOES happen. I don't in any way want to put God in a box and plan for the worst. (WHY do I do that??)
Anyway- I have much more of a peace about it right now. I've been praying these concerns and anxieties into God's hands and I know He will guide me in His perfect timing. No matter where I end up, or how things are going, God will be with me.
I heard this quote this week and I think it's perfect (I'm not sure who said it)
"I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds it"
It's such a comfort to remember that God is the one in charge.
Tonight I was also thinking about babies and how we're God's children.
I was thinking about little Benjamin Bowman who entered the world on this past Thursday November 4th, (CONGRATS KYLEE!!!!) and how much God loves him and planned him. Benjamin is just a little baby, he just recently took his first breaths but already God knows his whole life. He knows what paths Benjamin will take and everything that will happen in his life. As I was thinking about this God really helped me to see that I was that baby too. I was fresh and new at one point in my life and I had everything before me that hadn't happened yet. I'm still on my journey and even though I'm obviously older and able to think, it doesn't mean God is in any less control of my life. He still knows the paths I have yet to take. He knew everything that would happen in my 21 years of life and knows what is to come. He KNOWS where I will be next year and He will be WITH me. No matter what is happening in my life, whether I feel it is good or bad, God will be there to turn to and lean on.
Amen! What a comfort. I'm so thankful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)