God's opinion is worth more...

I just have to say, I KNOW, I know, I know, that to become a teacher you must go through that season of being in "the fishbowl".

People have to watch you, they have to comment on what you do, it HAS to happen. I get it. But I don't like it.

I hate it. Actually.

It just makes me feel so judged. mehh

And it's draining. I've only really just begun this journey of being a "new" teacher and it's so frustrating feeling like people have the right to judge me, and comment, and "force" their opinions of ME onto me.

I get the whole, you need to accept constructive criticism thing....but it's so tough.

I don't want to be labeled...by anyone.

I'm insecure. It's a fact. I know I won't be perfect the first time around but I can't stand the way I feel when someone is watching me teach and they comment on all of it afterwards.
I know it's necessary, I really do...but that doesn't mean I have to like the way it makes me feel.

I don't expect to be perfect but then why is it so hard to take the criticism..?

My supervisor was there today for science later in the day. My lessons were fine. I actually felt that reading went SO well. My teacher left the room at one point and I was alone in a classroom teaching, for the FIRST. TIME. EVER. It was awesome! and the kids were GREAT. Even my little buddy that can be a handful sometimes was well behaved..for him.
But for my science lesson, she talked with me afterward and just said it went well...blah blah (I feel like they have to say that..) and then some things that weren't right.

I don't know how exactly she worded it, but all I hear is...YOU SUCK.

haaa how sad and pathetic that sounds. But honestly, it doesn't even matter if I did most of it right, tell me I did two little things the wrong way and it brings me down and makes me feel like poo.

Honestly, I was tearing up on the way home. It's so hard to be evaluated so much in that short amount of time. My supervisor and my coop giving me the low-down on my abilities...their opinions being forced on me like a weight. I'm just trying to figure all of this stuff out myself and it just feels like a lot sometimes.

I need to keep reminding myself that God's opinion is worth more...

(ps SORRY this is all about student teaching lately, but that's basically become my life..)

**Also, I just added my scripture memory for Feb. Check it out :)