Jeremiah 17

Well, unfortunately I have failed this week at keeping up with my blog. It's finals time though, so I feel like that's a valid excuse. I haven't even been able to keep up reading others' blogs this week.

God is doing some awesome things in my heart though. :) I've had a couple of revelations and things today and I'm still trying to sort through it all, hopefully writing it down will help.

This morning there was an R and R retreat and it was really great.
Jenny was talking about bearing fruit and how we obviously should be bearing fruit, BUT, we should be cautious to the fact that we aren't bearing "fast fruit". It was the first time I had ever heard this concept. If we bear "fast fruit" it most likely means that we have no root, or foundation and that it won't last in times of trials. She was focusing a lot on the "roots" today. She said it's better to have nothing on the surface, no fruit, because you could be growing much needed roots down deep. Even though you may not see a fruit RIGHT now, it doesn't mean that God is not working in your life.

She talked about the four T's, trials, trouble, testing, and temptation and how these things can "scorch" our plants, making us hide from the sun. People often fall away in those times because they do not have ROOTS. They go farther from God. BUT those T's aren't always bad.. they can cause growth in us IF we have roots. The only way we can grow roots is to listen and obey God's word. To turn TO Him to allow those roots to grow.

(I hope that makes sense, she uses a lot of analogies..and explains it way better than I can)

Anyway, the journal time at the retreat this morning was a total TEN for me. God really spoke to me. I realized that, for one, I feel like my life should ALWAYS be producing fruit at ALL times, and I think I get ahead of myself. I certainly have been letting those T's (trials, temptations, troubles, testing..) get to me in the wrong way. I'm so easily moved by them. I wrote down that sometimes I hear Satan's voice louder than God's, especially lately. When those hard times and T's come I have been turning away from God instead of towards Him, not allowing Him to do His work that He wants to do. I realized that nothing can come out of these seemingly bad things in my head/heart if I don't come to God to use it and mold me through all that junk. The ROOTS will never grow if I ignore God and don't come to Him with these things.

I really heard God's voice this morning saying "COME TO ME IN ALL TIMES!!"
He wants me to come when I'm anxious. He wants me to come when I'm fearful. He wants me to come when I'm lonely. He even wants me to come when I'm bitter. Or when I'm angry, or even jealous. God WANTS ME TO COME! At ALL TIMES! Whatever it is I'm doing or feeling, it doesn't matter, He wants it. He wants me. There is nothing He can do if I choose to keep those things in my heart. He can't grow those roots in me if I don't bring these things.

The other revelation is that I've really been hearing Satan's voice so loudly lately that it's affecting my mood, and my actions, and worst of all, my heart. I was reading Pastor Duane's sermon notes from the sermon I missed a couple of weeks ago when I went home, it was about discerning the voice of God. It's something that seems like it should be so simple but these few points were the ones that "hit" the most for me.

1)God's voice leads to peace inside you
2)God's voice will not contradict the written word of God
3)God's voice will be confirmed
4)Acting on it brings glory to God

With this and the retreat and God speaking today, I've been realizing that I've had SO much junk in my heart lately. There is so much I need to bring to God. There are so many lies that Satan has been putting in my head. And there are a lot of places I need to allow God to work. After reflecting, I can certainly see that there are things creeping up in my heart that I never ever want to be there. I've been acting in ways that I've regretted all because of the enemy's subtle voice in my head.

It's a HUGE weakness on my part that I've been listening to it and not keeping these things in check.

A big problem (or whatever you want to call it) is that I'm seriously insecure. The enemy has been using true situations in my life and twisting them to seem like something they really aren't, feeding off of my insecurity.

It's disgusting. There aren't any other words I would use. It disgusts me how my human nature can take over and how I've been acting/what I've been holding in my heart. That's why it's SUCH AN AMAZING thing that God still WANTS it ALL.

When I come to Him through each trial and temptation..etc, he can use that to grow me. Then, when I have those roots deep down, I can still receive His nourishing water in the storms and drought. I will be so secure that I won't be moved.

A lot of scripture was highlighted today but this was my favorite.

Jeremiah 17: 7-8
7[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is.

8For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.

Be sure to come to God in your own life so that you'll be "growing" long lasting fruit! :)