Feeling defeated

I'm feeling pretty frustrated right now.

I can't even put it to words exactly but I feel like I'm a bad person, and student teacher or something for not making it to school these past couple of days. :(

Yesterday was completely out of my control, my car broke, there wasn't anything I could do about that.

I ended up not going in today either because of the snow.
In case you're asking yourself...the answer is No, my school was not closed this morning during out flippin "WINTER STORM watch"...it was OPEN.

I tried my best to suck up my nerves and leave the house anyway, despite my best judgement.
I cleared my car and shoveled off the driveway. I then went back in the house to put on my nice clothes for school and by the time I came back out, my windows were basically covered again because the snow was really coming down.
The roads were really awful. The radio person kept saying "the roads are treacherous".
I tried not to think about how bad they were, but every time I tried to break I was sliding, which might not bother some but it SCARES the heck out of me not to have control of my car.
My school is 45-50 minutes away on a normal day, and some of the roads are farm ones, and highways. I was literally crying at the thought of driving all the way out there when I didn't even feel comfortable driving in Millersville. I called my mom, and as stupid as I feel admitting this, I was crying on the phone with her because of how stupid I felt the situation was. WHY am I risking getting in an accident, (which I'm certain I would have) just to get to school, have them dismiss early and have to drive back??

I called my supervisor, and she said to talk to my coop about it. I then set out to drive back home. It was SO bad. I was scared for my life. The roads were covered, and everyone was sliding. The worst part was that I felt like I was hyperventilating and I was getting some panic attack feelings in my hands/arms. :( It was NO fun.

ANYWAY, I didn't make it school.

I feel so defeated almost.

I felt GOOD earlier, that I made it home, and that I was safe and didn't need to drive...buuut I'm starting to feel kind of judged..? Almost like certain people think I just didn't even try, or like I didn't WANT to go. But honestly I was concerned for my safety...honest to goodness.

I feel like a horrible person and like the worst student teacher ever right now. :(

It's not a good feeling.

There were certain things I was supposed to observe that I didn't get to, and certain things I was supposed to teach, but I couldn't.

I feel like a failure.

=/