Trust

It's summer! (Kind of) I started my class on Monday, one week down, three to go. So far this class hasn't been TOO awful or stressful, but it was only the first week. My goal is not to get too stressed out about it. I have a placement with this class and I found out the first day of class that I was placed in an early intervention classroom with children who have developmental speech delays...

..my first thought was oh great..I don't want this, and I was really kind of worried about it, but then I started to get kind of excited and see that it could be a neat experience. I went to the school on Thursday for the first time and it was good but a little...scary? Not scary...just very different from what I am used to. The class is all boys. This scared me when the teacher told me that, but really, they are all so cute, I really do like the kids. They aren't as delayed in their speech as I had pictured, a lot of them are actually speaking pretty well. I had expected that the children were only delayed in their speech though and once they got help they would be "Okay".. but the teacher explained to me that each of the children there are delayed in pretty much every area and when they go to school they will most likely be in special education classes. It was really heart breaking and sad... Some of them have autism, one has aspergers..and there is one little boy who is completely non-verbal. He's such a cutie though, he's from a Spanish speaking home so he doesn't speak English...but the thing is, he can't speak in Spanish either and seemingly has trouble understanding what is said in either language.

It will definitely be a challenge for me to write and teach lessons for these children. They range in age from 3 to 5 and they are alll over the board skill wise..and when I teach them I'll have to try to get to each of their levels. It's already been stretching me and I'm sure it will continue to be a stretching time as I write my lessons and actually try to teach.

As nerve racking as it is, I'm excited that God has me in this place. It's new, I'm not at all comfortable with it, and it's challenging. I feel like God has placed me in this exact class and school for good reason. I'm really going to have to put myself out of my comfort zone these next couple weeks...and I'm honestly scared. It's amazing though because I feel God's amazing peace and I'm able to trust Him with it because I literally have no idea.. It's so new for me, but God knows it will work out and that I'll grow and I'll be OKAY.

Tonight I was working on stuff for my PLM (Plan for learning module), well really alll day I was working on it, and I decided to lay down. I had my window open and my music on and it was so nice. The cool breeze was so refreshing and I just felt such a peace..about everything. Things I've been worried about, school, LIFE. I truly believe right now that God has me and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. I wish I could bottle it up and always feel like this. I decided to read my devotion for today...(and yesterday, I missed one..whoops). They were both generally about coming to God to find strength and how we neeeed that one on one, alone time with God, it's so important in our relationship with Him and to remind us that WE don't control our lives (or shouldn't be trying to) but God DOES. He talks us through challenging situations and equips us to handle the difficulties..all we need to do is relax..and trust Him.

"..be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides.]" Ephesians 6:10

I feel slightly better about this trust thing..God truly is helping and guiding me to trust Him more. I can try to think ahead and plan all I want, but all it does is give me anxiety and make me feel horrible...and for what? Absolutely. nothing. Things will still happen how they will. God gives me what I need for each day not a year from now and I'm really trying to remember to focus on today and rely on God for the things I can't see. (Even the things I CAN see..ha)

"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in your weakness.." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Also, praise God I got through the hardest semester of my life with all A's!!! :D God is so amazing.